JUNK and punks.

Oh wow.. It's real weird on here. That senior picture HAS TO GO --->

  Oh hey! Remember me? I'm that weirdo ballerina who calls herself the craft-erina.. Get it? Craftster + Ballerina = crafterina. Har. Har. Har... Well by now that "craft" part has evolved in to a slew of different crafts. In the beginning it was a very literal statement.. Like legit craft time.. Whip out your Elmer's glue and your sequins and lets make some shit! Now, it ranges from sewing elaborate leotards and swimsuits for my very own ETSY shop to baking to knitting to writing to whatever the next obsession is in my current state of mind.

So my last post was in the very end of October, huh? I haven't even read through it but I am sure it is gushing about some city called "New York"?? Yeah.. I have to say it is pretty wonderful city and luckily I will be making an adventure back soon. But that's now why I'm here today.

I don't want to bore you (or myself) with the in's and out's of my life since October, but lets just say it's been like a wild monster roller coaster through the gates of hell and the stained glass windows of heaven. (Dramatic? Never.) I made it through "The Nutcracker" with only a few bumps and bruises and powered though "La Bayadere" like a champ. I even made it through half the mixed rep thennnn BOOM tore a hammie. (By hammie I mean "Hamstring" for all you normal folk reading this crap). I was off for the second weekend of shows and recovered through the layoff to come back only at 80% for the staging of the final two reps. I worked and worked through the past couple months and felt like I was holding on for dear life. I did not want to be off again. It is the absolute worst thing. I had dealt with it for the entirety of the year prior and then the stint a couple months before.. The second to last mixed rep came along with vigor and I got through the first weekend of shows. In the tornado of it all my world was blowing up around me. I came in on Tuesday and worked through Peter Pan rehearsals and woke up Wednesday and knew my hammie was injured again. So my worst nightmare came true yet again and just like that I am off for the rest of the season.

This lovely little fairy tale brings me to the reason for this blog post! When I get injured, I need other creative outlets to fill my time. Luckily, I have my sewing to go absolutely ape-wild with and every once in a while (I SAID ONCE IN A WHILE OR ELSE I'LL GET FAT FAT FAT FROM ALL THE DOUGH CONSUMED IN THE PROCESS) I will put my baking skills to test.. So after the royal day from hell at the hospital getting all sorts of tests done today (magnets, white coffins, lasers, x-rays, scans, tears don't forget the tears......) and feeling like I was about to explode from stress and anxiety, I knew I needed some "Suzie homemaker" rehab therapy time in my life and decided to make straight up junk food comfort cookies. I'm talking "tomorrow someone is going to have a heart attack while performing in Peter Pan" from the amount of butter, sugar... whatever. Never mind. Just eat the damn cookie.

First up: Buttered Popcorn Chocolate Chunk Cookies

This cookie makes you thirstier than all get out. Like crawling around in the desert of New Mexico seeing mirages and shit.. All that buttery popcorn melting into your brown sugary cookie batter with a couple choco chunks dribbling all around... Boom. Thirst. Just be prepared with icy milk and you'll be fine.

Caught this recipe on the good ole' Pintrest. That fancy gal "Joy The Baker" altered it from the "Smitten Kitchen" cookbook. She was the smart cookie who added the chocolate.. High five, Joy. High five. 

Be prepared to drool...

Deb’s (<--who deb="" s="" strong="">) Buttered Popcorn Chocolate Chip Cookies

makes 24 cookies

adapted slightly from The Smitten Kitchen Cookbook

2 tablespoon vegetable oil

1/4 cup yellow corn kernels

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon unsalted butter, melted

1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened to room temperature

1/2 cup light brown sugar, packed

1/3 cup granulated sugar

1 large egg

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup coarsely chopped dark chocolate

coarse sea salt for sprinkling

Let’s make the popcorn first.  Place oil in the bottom of a medium saucepan.  Heat over medium heat.  When oil is hot, add corn kernels in a single layer across the bottom of the pan.  Cover the pot but keep the lid ajar to let a bit of steam out.  Listen to the popcorn as it pops.  Turn off the heat and remove the pan from the burner once the popping has subsided.  Sprinkle with salt and drizzle with butter.  Toss to coat all of the popcorn in a bit of butter.  Piece through the popcorn to remove any unpopped kernels.  Set aside to cool.  You’ll have about 4 cups of popcorn.

Next we’ll make the dough.  Place a rack in the center and upper third of the oven and preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.  Set aside.

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream together butter, brown sugar, and granulated sugar.  Cream until butter is pale and fluffy, about 3 minutes.  Beat in egg and vanilla extract for one more minute.  Add the flour, baking soda, and salt and beat on low until just combined.  Remove the bowl from the stand mixer and use a spatula to fold in the popcorn.  It might seem like a disproportionate amount of popcorn considering the cookie batter.  Keep folding.  The popcorn will break down a bit as it’s folded in.  Fold in dark chocolate.

Scoop dough by the heaping tablespoonful onto the prepared baking sheet.  Sprinkle the tops of the cookies with coarse sea salt.  Bake for 10 to 13 minutes or until the edges and tops are golden brown.  Remove from the oven, allow to rest on the baking sheet for 5 minutes then transfer to a cooling rack to cool completely.

Store cookies in an airtight container at room temperature.  

 

 

 

Now just because the double buttered popcorn cookie with brown sugar, chocolate and extra salt didn't calm my anxiety and stress from earlier enough to allow me to move on with my life.. I had to create a JUNKYARD cookie derived from the oh so famous "Jordan's Famous Chocolate Chip Cookies" (FOUND FOR SALE ON MY ETSY SHOP, hint, hint..... WINK. Smooch.. Love ya, mean it). So I whipped up the secret batter and threw in some junk food favorites: Potato chips, chocolate chips, and salty ass pretzels. The top secret amped up batter might have won a gold metal in the cookie dough Olympics, if it were a thing. Which why isn't it??? And instead of giving you the recipe (because I'd have to kill you or keep you as a slave in my non existent dungeon).. I am going to torture you with pictures that you will have a hard time controlling the drool that is now dripping on to your beloved social media devise that is controlling your life. (---> Insert evil laugh here <--- p="">

 

Hey! Nice writing to you again... (Yes, all thirty of you little stalkers..) Talk to you again in, oh...... 8 months???? ;)

ALL MY LOVE,

Jordan

Read the fine print:

ALL PHOTOS TAKEN BY ME, Jordan Reed. If you steal them, you are a punk. And you have to live with your sorry little punk butt. Which everyone knows is way worse than me writing my name all over my photos so people like YOU don't steal them and call them their own.. PUNK.