Sunday, May 20, 2012

ACTUALLY Healthy Zucchini Bread or Muffins...

I would first like to start off by thanking my mother for allowing me to mess up her beautifully clean kitchen... DAILY..... Sometimes twice daily. 
Thanks Mom.
(Oh yeah, and cleaning my car....)
 God I'm worthless, I blame it on the pain and the pain murderers.

Speaking of worthless.... Check out this cat.... ;)
This week I got my wisdom teeth out. It should be against the law. I'm just saying. I slept the whole day of the surgery and the next day decided to go with my mom to the ballet studio and did floor barre. I think I was still sedated when I did floor barre because I have no idea how I even got through even half of it. I felt GREAT until after and hit pain level 22... Day three I was in a pretty significant amount of pain but somehow talked my mother into dropping me off for a Pilates class. I walked in and they were like,
 "I thought you were getting your wisdom teeth out?!" 
Me, "I, did." 
"Umm...good luck with that. Let me know how that goes for you."
Once again. I don't remember much of that class.. which probably means I SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN DOING THAT.
The next day my mom wanted me to go into the dentist to make sure I wasn't on the fast track to a dry socket. I met with the dentist and he was like 
"WHAT?! You did WHAT?!"

"I took pilates."
"Pilates is the fastest way to a dry socket."
Really are you sure? Because I can think of faster. JUST SAYIN'.

So after that, I have been keeping all of my activities to baking and sewing and sleeping and take pain killers every two hours. Those little buggers just murder that pain away.

The first time I really got out of the house was yesterday to go to the annual SHAMROCK PARK NEIGHBORHOOD GARAGE SALE. We were there by 8:30 and I can guarantee 90% of the good stuff was gone. Now, we are in a town of what 50,000? I think 49.501 people we log-jammed in this tiny neighborhood. And everyone felt the need to drive of course. We biked. (You biked on pain killers?! Yes. I. did.) We ditched our bikes about 2.5 seconds into the mission because the chances of us DYING were about 110%. Jeff hit the motherload of vinyl records. Pretty hilarious collection from Bobby Brown to Oingo Boingo.... I found a pottery mug (which I have a small obsession with) and some super nice brand new skeins of alpaca and cashmere yarn for 4 skeins for a buck! I also got really close to buying an Emerald Green convertible Jag with CAMEL top.. but was soon talked out of it because it would be more to keep up than by sewing addiction.... (which is a hefty penny.)

Today I woke up later than I have woke up in...Oh let's see.... forever. 10 am. (do I hear a round of applause?!) Yes. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. (with bows.) And there was some grated zucchini that had been pulled out of the freezer from last season. So I started my hunt for a groovy healthy zucchini recipe. One after the other, No. No. No. Definitely not. NO. NO. NOOOOOO. What is wrong with these recipes?! I thought zucchini bread was supposed to be healthy! 2 cups of oil, 4 cups of sugar. REALLY?! Jesus. Might as well make brown butter brownies. (Oh wait I did....) Oops... ANYWAYS... Moving on. 
I decided to craft my own ACTUAL HEALTHY Zucchini bread recipe. And it turned out yummy.


3 large eggs
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup canola oil
1/4 cup plain yogurt
1/4 cup apple juice
1½ teaspoons vanilla
1 3/4 cups A/P flour
1 cup Whole Wheat Flour
1½ teaspoons cinnamon
2 ¼ teaspoons baking soda
1½ teaspoons salt
¼ teaspoons baking powder
grated lemon zest
 1 cup grated apple
2 cups grated fresh zucchini, loosely packed

  1. Set rack in center of oven and preheat oven to 375º.
  2. Using a flat beater, beat eggs until frothy.  Beat in the sugar. Add oil, yogurt, honey, apple juice and vanilla and beat several minutes.
  3. Mix together the flour, cinnamon, baking soda, salt and baking powder and lemon zest in a bowl.  Add along with the zucchini and apples to the egg and oil mixture and beat until blended.
  4. Pour evenly into 2 buttered and lightly floured glass loaf pans. (Or muffin tin if using)
  5. Bake for 10 minutes at 375º. Lower heat to 350º degrees and bake for 1 hour longer.  The loaves should have a dark skin with splits along the top, and a toothpick inserted into one of the splits should be nearly clean, with no batter buildup.
  6. Cool in pans on rack for 15 minutes.  Gently remove from pans, using a sharp knife if necessary, and then cool for an hour or more before serving
(If using muffin tins bake 12 mins for mini muffins and 25-28 mins for large muffins)


 I made the loaf as well as muffins with the extra batter instead of making two loaves of bread. To the muffins I made a lemon glaze to make for a sweet dessert treat.

Lemon Glaze: 
Juice of half a lemon
1/3 cup powdered sugar (or more to taste) 
dash of cinnamon
1 tbls melted butter

Whisk all the ingredients together until smooth. Then drizzle over the tops warm muffins. 

 Hey you! In the back!

 One more note: Garage sales are the new bake sales. Enchanting. People will go up to the garage sale and grab a plate for 75 cents and ask the poor people to sell it for a quarter. BUT THEN they will go to the little "bake stand" (which is filled with freaking nasty ass doughnuts from the sunbeam discount bread store on Amon Road) and buy one for 2 bucks a piece!  HILARIOUS. Next time I'm bringing my table and setting up camp in front of a misc. home and making an ass load of cash from baked goods.

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